Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark.

1.) Don’t miss the boat.

2.)Remember that we are all in the same boat.

3.) Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.

4.) Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

5.) Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6.) Build your future on high ground.

7.) For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

8.) Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9.) When you’re stressed, float awhile.

10.) Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

11.) No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

noahs-ark.jpg

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Published in: on September 11, 2007 at 9:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

Chain Mail…I love it

SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER:

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that
needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face…disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan

I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he’s told us how to fix everything

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don’t forget this one either!

I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 47,000 people in the next 47 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:47 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 47 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician…

Have a wonderful day….AND

A scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late…

Courtesy of Grumpy

Published in: on September 10, 2007 at 3:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

10 Things You Never Wanted to Know About Hiltler

There’s a Little article out there and the title is 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Hitler http://www.socyberty.com/History/10-Things-You-Didn’t-Know-About-Hitler .43699 It’s causing a little bit of back and forth thing. Apparently not everyone is interested in the little idiosyncrasies of Hitler. In fact, after reading some of the comments, there are some that are not interested in Hitler what so ever. Others claim that none of the things this guy has written are true while others say everyone already knows and it’s old news. Either way there a tempers are flaring and they seem to be having a good discussion, it’s always interesting when people feel strongly about a subject and don’t mind letting others know.

Published in: on September 10, 2007 at 1:43 pm  Leave a Comment  

Laray Carr Publications…Scammer or Blogslapped?

If any of you are on the freelance writing curcuit you may have heard a little controversy circling a company by the name of Laray Carr. They recently posted an online ad at Online Writing Jobs. They needed a huge quanitity of articles to fill more than 35 new magazines scheduled for release in September. The pay…marginal at $50.00 for 500-1500 words. From what I understand more than a few writers answered their ads and were hired. Laray Carr Publications sent out guidelines along with a contract stating that writers would be paid upon release which was expected on September 20th.

The first trickles of doubt leaked at OnLine Writing Jobs website where one writer, who supplied Laray Carr with articles, was now having doubts to their authenticity. Roger Owens, self proclaimed big wig at Laray Carr, immediately responded with threats of legal action. The post was removed. From there things went wild.

At Writers Row, Deborah Ng posted a blog on her Job Search site:   http://www.writersrow.com/deborahng/ about articles being stolen. Several people posted comments pertaining to Laray Carr,  a lively discussion ensued regarding the legitimacy of Laray Carr. Theories and accusations flew in every direct. Finally, a Hope Hunt, from Laray Carr responded to defend herself and her company. Trying to dispell the rumors by explaining some of the actions of the company…why they had no website or proper e-mail addresses. Unfortunately, she did little to eleviate peoples fears. Fears of not being paid.

From Writers Row, Laray Carr was next featured at Writers Beware  http://accrispin.blogspot.com/ , a blog dedicated to exposing scammers and is intended as a resource site for new and experienced writers. This site is dedicated to exposing the scammers out there, who aren’t paying their writers.

A lengthy pros and cons type piece was written. It only raised more red flags and once again Hope Hunt put in her two cents as well as pleading for the safety of her family. Apparently, she was receiving threatning e-mails and faxes from disgruntled and scared writers, feeding off the frenzy of doubt.

I’d like to point out that at both sites the blog entries themselves stay neutral and offer points for both sides of the arguement. The comments however are another story…they range from out and out disbelief that Laray Carr is legit, to God I hope they pay.

There’s one very big IF that many aren’t paying attention to….if Laray Carr is not legit, why are they are spending so much time defending themselves. They’ve been a contributor on every blog thats raised a red flag. Thats a huge amount of effort to go to when pretty much everyone believes they’re a scam.

The time and date for payment has not yet passed. Until that times comes, everything thats been discussed is only rumor and heresay. Whether these writers will get paid, no one knows except Laray Carr themselves. Until then we wait.

Published in: on September 8, 2007 at 9:09 pm  Comments (4)  

Hello world!

Blogging is addictive, proceed with caution! I’ve found some interesting discussions out there and I’ll be bringing them here.

Published in: on September 8, 2007 at 8:03 pm  Comments (1)